V – The Divine Mother

Sri Ramakrishna adapted himself to his new station and forgot everything else. Ramkumar, being troubled by Sri Ramakrishna’s love for solitude and growing indifference to the world, resolved to teach him the elaborate procedure of the worship of Kali, so that, later, he might assume the task quite efficiently. As it is not considered advisable to undertake the worship of Shakti, or Kali, without being properly initiated, Sri Ramakrishna, at the advice of his elder brother, got the necessary initiation from a Brahmin in Calcutta named Kenaram Bhattacharya who was noted for his devotion and experience. It is said that as soon as the sacred Mantra was uttered in his ears, Sri Ramakrishna, over whelmed with religious fervour, gave a shout and plunged into deep concentration, which greatly astonished the Guru. From this time forward Ramakumar asked his brother now and then to take over the worship of the Divine Mother, while he himself worshipped at the altar of Radha-kanta instead. Ramkumar was now aged and decided to go home for a change. Sri Ramakrishna was therefore permanently put in charge of the worship of Kali. But Ramkumar was not destined to see his home again for he breathed his last at a place a few miles north of Calcutta. His death came to the young priest as a great shock and a revelation. It occurred at a time when he was fast realizing the transitoriness of the world, and all his energies were now given to the search for something that was real and imperishable. While those about him were wasting time in all sorts of frivolity, he was burning day and night with a consuming thirst for God. To Sri Ramakrishna the image of Kali was not an inert stone but the Mother Herself. The Goddess wears a gorgeous Varanasi Sari and is decorated with precious ornaments from head to foot. From Her neck hangs a garland of skulls and round Her waist a girdle of human arms-made of gold. In Her lower left hand She holds a decapitated human head, also made of gold, and in the upper one a sword. With Her lower right hand She offers boons to Her devotees; with the upper one is symbolized, ‘Fear nothing’. The skulls and the sword represent Her terrible aspect, and Her right hands-offering boons and assuring fearlessness-the benignant aspect. She is both terrible and sweet-like Nature alternately destroying and creating. This is the Deity whom Sri Ramakrishna worshipped, the Preserver as well as the Destroyer. But to him She was ever the affectionate Mother – the Repository of all blessedness and power-sweet, tender, and full of motherly solicitude, the Mother who with loving care protects Her devotees from harm. To Her he offered his whole-souled devotion, regarding Her as the only true guide in darkness and confusion. From now on he began to shun the company of the worldly people. At night, when everybody was asleep, he would arise and repair to the adjoining dense jungle, returning after day-break, with eyes swollen as though with much weeping, or showing the effects of prolonged meditation. The realization of God became the one absorbing passion of the young aspirant. He would shed profuse tears like a child at being denied the vision of the Mother and would burst out crying, ‘O Mother! where art Thou? Reveal Thyself to me. Ramprasad saw Thee and obtained Thy divine grace. Am I a wretch that Thou dost not come to me? Pleasure, wealth, friends, enjoyments-I do not want any of these. I only desire to see Thee, Mother.’ When the peal of evening bells in the temple announced the close of the day, he would grow disconsolate and cry in the agony of his heart, ‘Another day is spent in vain, Mother, for I have not seen Thee! Another day of this short life has passed, and I have not realized the Truth!’